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High School » Guidance Office » Virtual Counseling Office
Welcome to the Virtual Counseling Office
Somewhere, at this very minute, there is probably someone out there who hurt you, angered you, upset you, or wronged you. You still haven’t gotten over it. Someone talked about you behind your back, your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you to go out with someone else, your friend canceled plans you were looking forward to, your sibling broke something of yours, a teacher embarrassed you in class, your parents grounded you for something you didn’t do. You’re entitled to feel hurt, angry, betrayed, or disappointed. Keep in mind though that those feelings can last a long time, because as difficult as it can be to say, I’m sorry, it can be just as difficult to say, I forgive you. But if the person who hurt you can apologize - which sometimes is not an easy thing to do - you can make an effort to forgive, especially if the apology is sincere, real, and from the heart.1 What if the person who hurt you or wronged you does not apologize? Can you still forgive them? Absolutely. Although this situation may be more challenging-to forgive someone who isn’t sorry- you are still letting go of anger, bitterness and hurt that you have been carrying around with you. Forgiveness is a choice. It is a decision. Corrie Ten Boom, a woman who suffered from the horrors of a concentration camp in World War II, once said, Forgiveness is not an emotion. It is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. She believed that love and forgiveness are more powerful than hate and bitterness. True forgiveness is meaningful because it puts the past behind and leaves it there. Corrie Ten Boom frequently compared forgiveness to casting all wrongs into the deepest sea and posting at the surface a No Fishing Allowed sign. It is not genuine forgiveness when you continue to remind the person of how they have hurt you, or you continue to harbor bitterness after giving forgiveness. If you are not really letting go, and you are still going fishing in the pond, the bitterness and hate that you are holding on to can then infect other relationships and areas of your life.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it shows your power as an individual. It does not mean that you are giving in or giving the other person permission to hurt you again. It means that you are strong enough to accept the fact that everyone makes mistakes, and your friend, girlfriend or boyfriend, teacher, parent are no exception. Forgiving someone takes nothing away from you as a person- it adds to your strength.1 True forgiveness is one of the most difficult character qualities to master-but it is only by true forgiveness that you can clear the record of wrong, refuse to hold a grudge, and enable a relationship to move forward.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future
- Paul Boese
Article: 7 Habits of Highly Responsible Students
1. They set goals. Goals keep kids focused on the future. That’s why they are the foundation of responsible behavior and success in school. Help your child set goals. Talk to your child about: How much improvement would she like to see on this week’s test? How would he like to improve his grades this marking period? What are two things she would like to accomplish this school year? What will be needed to meet those goals? Goals help students focus on what’s important and what’s not. If they have a vision of where they want to go, they’re more likely to get there. Students with goals find it easier to say no to irresponsible behaviors, because they are saying yes to their vision of the future.
2. They plan their time. Responsible people meet their obligations, whether it’s turning in a paper on the day it’s due or having a report on the boss’s desk when it’s needed. It takes planning. (If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.) Use a big calendar to help teach your child how to organize her time. Write down all her commitments and use the calendar to plan time for homework each day.
3. They study every day. Responsible students set aside time for homework or studying every day. If there is no homework that day, review vocabulary words or notes.
4. They take notes in class. Teachers will almost always spell out what they think is important. Encourage your child to take notes while the teacher is talking.
5. They have the tools they need. A carpenter wouldn’t think of showing up without a hammer. A nurse always has a stethoscope. A responsible student is always properly prepared for class.
6. They keep their commitments. Responsible people honor their commitments. They succeed in school by doing their assignments well and on time. They do their share of the group project. They go to soccer practice even when it’s cold. Parents can set the example for their children. Talk about the commitments you have made to the family to provide meals, keep clothes clean, and care for anyone who is sick. Ask children to make their own commitments at home and feel the satisfaction that comes from meeting those commitments.
7. They get ready ahead of time. Some students start out every morning with a crisis. They can’t find their homework. They don’t have time to eat breakfast. The shirt they want to wear isn’t ironed. Responsible students have learned that being late, or being early, is not something that simply happens; it is a choice they make. Teach your child to take 5 or 10 minutes before bedtime to get ready for the next day. Pack the backpack. Make lunch. Lay out clothes. Children will soon see that those few minutes will make the morning easier, and help him get to school ready to learn.*The Parent Institute, QuickTips
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North Collins Central School District
2045 School Street
North Collins, NY 14111
(716) 337-0101
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